1. "I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms."
 
 2. "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
 
 3. "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."
 
 4. "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."
 
 5. "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave."
 
 6. "Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."
 
 7. "I was working for my mom until she decided to move."
 
 8. "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
 
 9. "I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free to respond to my resumé on my office voice mail."
 
10. "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."
 
11. "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."
 
12. "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant,"
 
13. "Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."
 
14. "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chainstore."
 
15. "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers."